Tonight, I learned college parties are not for me

"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390) 01/16/2016 at 00:30 • Filed to: Life Lessons With K-Roll

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That’s all.

The mixer I went to was just a typical college party in a small house. Quite frankly, I’m just not capable or compatible. just think it’s stupid and I’m me. I mean guess I understand why people go to parties: to get wasted and drunk and hope they can maybe hook up with someone by the end of the night and maybe that’s fun for some people, but I’m not about that life frankly. There’s too many people in a crammed house, I don’t know anyone there, no ones interested in actually talking with anyone new, being stuck in their own circle or group. I guess it’s also not fun going to parties alone and had I gone with someone, maybe it would’ve been better (I know no one at my school who would go with me to one anyways. Of the three parties I’ve been to, the first one I was dragged to, the second I was willing to tag along, and this one I went on my own) It’s just wasted time for me and nothing is accomplished.

And me, I’m a sociable person among friends, not around strangers who I’ve nothing in common with, Can only be sociable around those people at parties if I was drunk, and there’s no way I can actually meet new people and create lasting relationships when everyone is not even really there.

Oh well.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 00:33

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As someone who switches from an introvert to extrovert type of person, I agree that college parties blow.

6Cylinder > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 01/16/2016 at 00:38

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Something something do blow at college parties.

Blondude > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 00:46

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Holy shit so much this.

It’s 10:45 here and the only people in my entire hall are my roommate and I. Everyone else is out getting plastered.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > 6Cylinder 01/16/2016 at 00:51

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Naaaa...I saw some kid have his moment doing that once. If I’m going to wander the hallway dorms in my boxers sweating, I want to remember it...

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 00:52

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I never seem to fit into parties, they just bore me.

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 00:53

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I very rarely went to parties in college until my junior year, when I fell in with a group of (mostly) seniors whom I’d met by working with them on the school newspaper. A few of them rented two adjacent off-campus apartments above an antique shop in the town’s downtown, and by spring there was some kind of informal get-together there almost every other weekend, if not more often. They weren’t at all cliquish or closed off; the more time I spent around them, the more interest they took in me, like they genuinely liked me and wanted to get to know me. At the end of the year, some of the senior editors got me a small bottle of liquor and a card thanking me for my work and telling me how much they’d enjoyed hanging out with me during the previous months. The following year, once the seniors had graduated, it was back to my solitary ways, but I still keep in touch with most of them. (By the way, these get-togethers generally involved alcohol, but the point was never to get sloppy drunk and become loud and obnoxious. I’m not saying it never happened, but alcohol was mostly incidental — not pivotal — to what went on.)

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Blondude 01/16/2016 at 00:54

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It’s almost 1 here and I’m not sure what’s going on at the party I was at, but I’m at home on Oppo drinking apple juice and much happier here. But I am kinda bummed I couldn’t really fit in there, it just wasn’t meant to be.

wafflesnfalafel > Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy 01/16/2016 at 00:55

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yes.. most of my best college memories were doing stupid/crazy stuff in cars rather than sitting around getting drunk at parties....

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy 01/16/2016 at 00:55

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I don’t fit into many college-esque social gatherings...I tend to think I’m the bore at such things.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Svart Smart, traded in his Smart 01/16/2016 at 00:57

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See, that sounds more like the kinda social gathering I’d be interested in. Not some loud ass house party with loud music where I can’t hear anyone say shit and bumping into everyone and I’ve no idea what the fuck is going on. I just don’t get how that’s suppose to be fun. But maybe it’s just not fun until you’re drunk.

I Will Always Be The Honey Badger > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:00

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camaroboy68ss > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:00

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I know how you feel, I’m the exact same way. Unless I’m at a car function, its next to impossible for me to actually meet new people and truly impossible trying to meet woo the females, lol. Never have been one to just head out to a bar or club.

MountainRoadPhysicist > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:04

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I know what you mean. Parties never made sense to me through college, and I never once fit in. I was much happier with a couple drinks and hanging out with my roommates. That, and the prospect of a ton of alcohol always results in nasty week long migraines for me... something I always have preferred to avoid.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > MountainRoadPhysicist 01/16/2016 at 01:07

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It’s worse for me now that I commute instead of living on campus. I was slightly more social then because I got to know my floor and the people on it. Living at home just makes it so I can save money and just go from classes straight home or to the gym. It really is a losing situation. -_-

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > camaroboy68ss 01/16/2016 at 01:08

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Nor have I. And working on that failing of mine is difficult when I don’t really fit into the scene anyways.

Diesel > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:08

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You need to know one rule of life. Always make the best of the situation at hand. You are in college, while you may hate the parties, use them as networking opportunities to get a bigger group of friends. Maybe you were hanging out with some Jalops that don't know about Oppo. You should be able to relate to anyone you meet, make a game of it. And at the least, make fun of the drunks.

d00mZ > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:08

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K-Roll-PorscheTamer > I Will Always Be The Honey Badger 01/16/2016 at 01:08

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Hell, I don’t even have a Netflix!

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > d00mZ 01/16/2016 at 01:11

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Pretty much my night.

MountainRoadPhysicist > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:13

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Ahhh. That can have its benefits though. You don’t get sucked into as many horrible distractions that normally happen on campus. My first couple of years in undergrad did a wonder on my GPA as a result, and that includes avoiding most parties. At some point, I did buy a house close to my campus and rented it out to friends. It allowed me to be in a bit better control of my social life, allowed me to meet people, have time for class and homework, and still have fun.

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:13

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Yeah, no, that doesn’t sound like fun.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Diesel 01/16/2016 at 01:14

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I don’t understand how I, an introverted nerd, can network with drunk and wasted jocks, bros, and other such...people. I mean I got to see some friends who haven’t seen me in years, but that was it.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:14

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Introvert gotta vert

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > MountainRoadPhysicist 01/16/2016 at 01:16

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I mean I live less than 10 minutes away from campus, but it seems far enough that I won’t even consider going back to school to hang out with people even if I’ve got nothing going on.

camaroboy68ss > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:17

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same here, I have been doing small steps and doing car events outside of my genre of cars (is that even a term?). I been going to some import meets, mainly because the group is more my age in their 20's instead of my usual car show with 50+ year old’s. So far its not bad, though it was a weird to take my 33 ford to a open show hosted by an import club, that was a fish out of water experience

Svend > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:22

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I’ve done my time at parties and almost always felt the odd one out.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > camaroboy68ss 01/16/2016 at 01:24

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Okay, I haven’t done anything as bold as that. The minute you put me in some sorta JDM stancenation bro meet I’m gonna bash my head into the nearest tree and hope I get brain damage. But in terms of car meets, I find myself aligning better with the older crowd with classic cars and slightly newer modern vehicles than the younger crowd with any age or type of vehicle. People have always commented how well I’ve been able to converse with those 2 to 3 times my age than those in my age group.

Diesel > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:24

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Get out of your comfort zone! College is about growth. I can find something to talk about with anyone. Chances are there are people there that feel the same way you do.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Svend 01/16/2016 at 01:25

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I am almost always the odd one out. I try to block that feeling, but I know it to be too true.

Svend > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:33

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Ye’, it’s a shitty feeling. I never really developed social skills growing up so though I have an idea what to do, I don’t know how to do it. Hence why I like cleaning cars to relax.

ly2v8-Brian > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:35

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At least you got invited to one. No one includes me in anything. (Of course I would feel the exact same as you if I were in the same situation)

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > ly2v8-Brian 01/16/2016 at 01:37

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Invited? The thing was on Facebook. Sure, I was “invited”, but wouldn’t have felt bad if I wasn’t invited.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Diesel 01/16/2016 at 01:39

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I’m not so sure. And unfortunately, I’d need a couple drinks from experience to get out of my comfort zone in the amount of time I spent there...And that would just be wasteful and bad, I’d be no better than the drunk and wasted people already there.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Svend 01/16/2016 at 01:40

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I was more social as a kid than I am now. I somehow regressed instead of improving.

camaroboy68ss > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:41

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I’m exactly like that since i have grown up doing hot rod and custom car shows with my grandparents, only big downside is total lack of social skills in terms of trying to get a significant other. I do okay at classic meets that are not all american cars. Entered my first concours last year, wasn’t too bad. I did slightly bash my head at the jdm meet with my hot rod. I’ve been actually trying to talk my grandpa into entering our 56 chevy custom into the Seattle Stancewars and see if we get accepted for the fun of it, lol.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > camaroboy68ss 01/16/2016 at 01:45

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The strangest thing, is that I only started going out to car meets and other such things two years ago...You’ve been doing it seemingly your whole life, and while I’ve been into cars for just as long, the only outwardly car related things I ever did was go to the dream cruise every year and NAIAS.

Svend > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 01:53

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I was worse I think. I was always bullied for being different (you try going to junior school (age 7-11 years old) in chinos, Oxford brogues and dress shirt, playing tennis with a wooden racquet and tennis whites), now in the most part I think I’ve simply stopped caring.

Diesel > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 02:02

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It's up to you. I think you should take advantage of it. Just remember that noat people regret what they didn't do as opposed to what they did. Except people that commit crimes and get caught.

Trunk Impaired 318 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 02:04

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I did parties for my first two years of college and they were okay, but I’d consider them more stress relief than anything. The real fun for me now is just being with my friends, with or without alcohol and I much prefer it that way.

atfsgeoff > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 02:15

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As someone who doesn’t partake in alcohol or other recreational drugs: parties, bars and night clubs to me are incredibly annoying, deafeningly loud, and very much the opposite of fun. I won’t lie, I’ve volunteered to work late so I could legitimately avoid a party I was being brow-beaten into attending.

JDMatt > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 02:21

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After turning 21, I’ve gone to more bars and rarely go to house parties. If 100 drunk college kids are in a bar, that’s good for business. If 100 drunk college kids are in a somebody’s house, the neighbors hate you.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Svend 01/16/2016 at 02:23

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I haven't a clue what any of that stuff other than tennis is, because I've been playing since I was 3.

Svend > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 02:38

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Lol. At the time chinos trousers were more for 30-40 year old men.

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 02:43

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I agree

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Svend 01/16/2016 at 02:48

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Those are trousers?? Those look like the short shorts guys use to play tennis in during the 80s....Is this some alternate reality I've come across?

Svend > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 03:04

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No. Lol. That was what my tennis whites looked like. Doh.

Chinos are:-

When everyone else is wearing Adidas, Reebok and other branded casual stuff, I’m dressed like I was going to church or something.

Danimalk - Drives a Slow Car Fast > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 07:58

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“I’m 30 but I feel like I’m 20. Until I hang out with other 20 year olds, then I’m like, nope never mind I’m 30.”

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 08:43

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Definitely better to go with someone you know

Nibby > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 09:19

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I hated that shit in college. I also frown upon such activities anyways... last night a co-worker was telling me how hammered he was at the Rangers/Islanders game the other night. I didn’t tell him much, but that shit does anything but impress me.

You’re not missing out on much.

PotbellyJoe and 42 others > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 09:43

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This is why when I was in college I took up mountain biking.

I would get dropped off at the trail head on a Saturday morning with a few friends (and one dog if the right friend came) and we would ride out into the mountains of MA, NH and VT to get picked up somewhere else on Sunday afternoon.

The time with the guys (and sometimes girls) was welcomed and nature is always better than a sterile campus filled with drunk people puking on each other.

(Yes, UMass)

Master Cylinder > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 09:53

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What, you mean you don’t like getting crowded by a bunch of random assholes, in a place that’s not comfortable, with noise so loud you can’t even have a conversation with the person standing right next to you. I mean, what the heck is wrong with you, man?

Jokes aside, just because “college parties” are the stereotype, doesn’t mean they’re the norm. I would be willing to wager that a good majority of college students (except maybe those who choose to attend “party schools”) aren’t really into that scene either.

I went to maybe three parties like this when I was in college, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have a decent social life. I wasn’t out every night (I’m a 100% introvert and, God, that sounds exhausting) but when I did go out with people it was to a little dive bar where we could actually talk, or to someone’s dorm/house/apartment, or out doing something like riding motorcycles or going to concerts or the such.

Don’t worry about not enjoying a frat party. At least in my book, that’s a positive personality trait.

Nymphicus Hollandicus > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 09:54

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I’ve done a lot of partying in my first few weeks of college and it sucked but I was a wee freshman who didn’t know shit. You couldn’t even have a normal conversation unless it consisted of screaming one word or laughing from stupid shit like whatever crap song is playing. Nowadays, I only prefer hanging out (with or without alcohol) with a smaller group of people who really know me. It’s more fun and you can actually have an intellectual conversation.

You also seem to be in the same boat I was in during the end of my freshman year. My girlfriend broke up with me and I was kinda shunned from the friend group we shared. Most of them like me more and hated my ex cause she was controlling and annoying, but she started dating someone from the circle who everyone likes so I just stopped hanging out with them, apart from a select few. Coming into my sophomore year, I was practically alone and I couldn’t stand my roommate who I had freshman year as he sorta guilt-tripped me into hanging out with the friend group, I felt so shunned I felt like I dug a hole and stayed in there, especially if my ex or her boyfriend was there. Because of that and a desire to reinvent myself, I decided to join an outdoors club that piqued my interest. I joined, made several friends and now I hiked up (so punny) into the executive board.

At the end of sophomore year someone who I became acquaintances with on my floor asked if I needed a roommate, I said yeah and last semester, he introduced me to his friend group who are a great group of people and love hanging out with me. Hell, they’ll even give me free alcohol because they love seeing me drunk. I saw most of them once over the break and I can’t wait to go back up to school this Monday.

I believe that everything just falls into place and you’ll end up meeting people who you thought would have never existed. That’s what happened to me, and it should happen to you if you put the effort in. I befriended a transfer who has dealt with so much shit over his life and now he feels a lot more comfortable at the school. Try joining a club, or start one even! Clubs are usually the best way to make friends as everyone already has a common interest.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Svend 01/16/2016 at 10:14

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Oh.....That does genuinely suck.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Santiago of Escuderia Boricua 01/16/2016 at 10:15

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And I’ve no one to ever go with....The buddy system is not in my favor.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 10:25

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College parties are bullshit. That being said if you find a friend to go with it can be lots of fun to people-watch and talk shit to each other about “oh look that guy just threw up after chugging eight beers what a douche lol” and generally people-watch.

JGrabowMSt > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 10:35

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I let a pretty significant relationship go over exactly this, as you know.

It’s not for everyone, there are things you don’t agree with, and you can admit that. I think if nothing else, lesson learned.

I don’t regret my decision, and it looks like you don’t regret yours, so just remember, there’s other ways to meet new people and be social. Like Oppo, Cars & Coffee and other events that don’t require liquid courage (and frankly don’t encourage it).

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 11:12

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Next time, try to find the other people who don’t really fit in and are standing in corners by themselves and try striking up a conversation. You can use the lameness of the party as an opener

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 11:45

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Relevant:

gear5 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 15:33

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That last paragraph also applies to me...

yitznewton > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/16/2016 at 18:52

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I went to one of those. Friend put up the dollar cover, I walked through the house, looked around, basically “Yup...” and left.